Wednesday, 15 May 2013

多得亦舒


母親節那天竟然看到生果報用舊聞來作頭條, 那亦舒不認子的新聞早在兩星期前在其他媒體已經出現過, 生果報可謂用心良苦,頭條是名作家堅決不認子, 之後數版就報導一些眠乾絮濕的偉大母親個案, 造成一個對比, 真的是有設計過。

也許大家都應該知道甚麼是幸福不是必然,不只幸福, 這個世界基本上沒甚麼是必然的。
所謂尋母40年實在煽情, 現代科技之發達, 人類之八掛, 尋一個普通人也許有一定難度, 但要尋的是亦舒的話, 實在易如反日反掌, 路人皆知亦舒長居溫哥華, 據說在開始拍攝尋親紀錄片時, 才發現亦舒是母親,也許之前38年尋得不夠落力。

有時看報導,有些遭親人拋棄的人千里尋親,實在是不必要。如同失戀一樣, 人家已不要你, 為甚麼要苦若痴纏, 找到又如何,血脈相連也不代表從一而終,人家冷待你, 你冷待他, 是自愛的表現, 人對親情的幻想有時比愛情還要大。一個人最需要父母是在成年之前, 都長大成人更應懂得知情識趣,世上沒有誰欠了誰的必然關係。

都說孩子有兩種, 討債的和還債的,蔡邊村應該是前者, 見到亦舒活得好,人又低調, 愛她的自不好去打擾, 開了鏡的紀錄片不公佈母親身份也可拍得成。不夠恨一個人也做不出去公開那想隱瞞忘記掠過洗去的私隱, 過去, 難為還包裝成是愛。

傷口是最能夠激發創作靈感, 也許蔡導應該感謝他的母親不認他,沒有這個經歷, 哪有這部紀錄片, 也多得亦舒,他的名字成了熱門搜尋。 

4 comments:

xiao zhu said...

就是。

叫我很難不去想他是借尋母作宣傳。40歲人!!

Anonymous said...

真的非常認同你的見解。 蔡導演大概是"I need to be heard regardless" 的信徒。都活到這個年紀,還不明白人可以控制自己的行為,但無法控制行為所帶來的後果。就算出發點不是討債,沒有惡意,沒有歹念,可有考慮到'半妹'的處境。不願意與你相認的母親算是毀了你,何苦要把無辜的'半妹'捲入這淌混水。特別是自己已是一個女兒的父親,萬一女兒的母親也有如自己母親一般有不想再提起的故事,他可願意見到有人用這手段去舊事重提,逼使自己女兒活在母親讓人評頭論足的環境里。從世俗眼光來看今天也不見得導演生活得很苦或一事無成,跟父親的關係也不錯,父親亦再婚。成長過程中沒有親媽當然可能看作是人生缺陷,但有誰的人生沒有缺陷。且況甲之熊掌,乙之砒霜,塞翁失馬,焉知非福。幸與不幸,還不是一念之間。希望亦舒在女兒成長過程中沒有刻意隱瞞這段經歷,也好教女兒明白,少年軽狂並不是沒有代價的。先來一個倪震,再來一個蔡導,有風度的、願為人設想的大丈夫都到那裏去了!

hml said...

in an ideal world, ppl know a bit better, and this documentary would not lead to any further premature discussions -- i just don't know how 蔡導 could be critcised, nor judged, and all before his docu is screened !!

Anonymous said...

I am posting this with a much hesitation because I know there are many 亦舒 fans out there, but there are few points I want to make:

1) “尋母40年” is probably what has been said on newspaper only. If you have read the synopsis of his documentary, the director never said he had been searching for his mom all his life. What he did say is he has "successfully repressed his mother from his life" until he became a father recently, which revived his memory of his mother. I don't think it is too unreasonable to believe someone will think of his own parents when he becomes a parent himself.

2) If he only discovered who mother is when he started his movie, then the fact that 亦舒 was famously living in Vancouver for years is just a moot point.

3) If you have checked the release date of the documentary (or all his previous movies), you should see they are only being screened in Germany, which is where the director has been living in the last twenty years. I doubt proclaiming himself the son of 亦舒 would gather him much attention there since, unlike say 張愛玲, few people aboard even heard of 亦舒 despite her fame in Hong Kong. So I don't think it is fair to accuse the director for being a publicity-hound.

4) When you are in a creative industry like film-making, of course you want to be heard, the same reason 亦舒 went into writing herself I imagine, is that a crime?

5) I don't want to pass judgement on 亦舒's decision on cutting off her son from her life since I don't know her side of the story but at the same time, shouldn't we give the director the same benefit of doubt when you don’t have all the background of his movie?